Common Computer Problems Solved!

Help me!

Many problems can be solved using the these common solutions:

Switch to Firefox. IE is part of the operating system. It's easy to infect, then your OS is hosed.

Run windows update (if your OS is still supported by MS).

If you are feeling adventurous, switch to linux

Office problems (word, excel, access, power point)? Switch to OpenOffice. It's free!

M$ Outlook Problems: [Switch to Thunderbird]

Mail is stuck in Outbox:
Close Outbox
Ctrl-alt-del, open taskmanager
Kill Outbox if the task is running again
Open Outlook again.
Open each piece, save (in "Drafts")
Delete each piece
Open "Drafts"
Send each saved mail

JFGI!

other tricks (oriented as reminders to Ben):

Fire up "msconfig" and uncheck various processes. If you don't how to "fire up msconfig", then you shouldn't do it.

Empty IE cache (properties, "Delete Cookies", "Delete Files", "Clear History"). This will solve some remembered-password problems for IE

Run spybot search and destroy, hijack this, and adaware

By law, according to the Uniform Cartoon Code (UCC), Chapter 112358, section 12.432432 as publish by the ACME Corporation. "All persons, animals or other self aware beings (terrestrial or otherwise) who encounter a large red button are required to press it under penalty of anvil", it goes on to say, "Should the before mentioned red button carry a notice asking all who see it not to press it, the required pusher of said button is here by required to press it as often and as many times as possible until it’s final result is known.

Are you pushing your keyboard hard enough? Maybe try tapping it with a hammer. The button gets stuck sometimes.

if your keyboard/laptop is dirty, give it a good bath. "Mr. Bubble's Bubble Bath, Original Formula" is recommended for a thorough cleaning. Be sure to dry all components. This must be done while standing in the filled tub with a hair drier. If you cannot dry the bottom of the computer while it is sitting in the water, simply submerge the hair drier.
Note: hair drier must be ON for drying operations.

All things can be fixed with duct tape and a hammer. If that doesn't work, use a larger hammer.

Usually, FUBAR can be resolved with a hardware and software upgrade.

Another common diagnosis: PEBSAK (Problem exists between seat and keyboard). Computers are logic devices that would work fine, but then humans are introduced. BOFH

Learn how to use telnet, specifically on smtp (25) and imap (143). Besides reading the RFCs, this is the only way I know of to get familiar with how mail actually works.

Open up command prompt.
[command prompt] [your input] [my comments]

C:> telnet das.wisc.edu 25 (telnet into the mail server on the SMTP port 25)
220 dasmail.acadsvcs.wisc.edu ESMTP CommuniGate Pro 4.3.6 is glad to see you!
helo 192.168.452.563 (where this is your actual ip address)
250 dasmail.acadsvcs.wisc.edu is pleased to meet you
mail from:<someinvalid_account@das.wisc.edu>
250 someinvalid_account@das.wisc.edu sender accepted
rcpt to:<who_you_are_sending_to@das.wisc.edu>
250 who_you_are_sending_to@das.wisc.edu will leave the Internet
data (tell the mail server that you want to compose some email)
354 Enter mail, end with "." on a line by itself
OMG FIRST EMAIL reading rfc 821
will it go through?
Have a nice day.
...
More text
.(denote the end of the email)
250 11400574 message accepted for delivery
exit

Learn how to use telnet, specifically on smtp (25), smtp auth 587, and imap (143). Besides reading the RFCs, this is the only way I know of to get familiar with how mail actually works.

Open up command prompt and access your IMAP account:
[command prompt] [your input] [my comments]

C:>telnet das.wisc.edu 143
a001 CAPABILITY
a002 login ben password
a003 logout

abbreviated MST command set:

telnet minermail.mst.edu 25
ehlo
auth login
334 VXNlcm5hbWU6
(your base64 encoded logon)
334 UGFzc3dvcmQ6
(your base64 encoded password)
mail from: crazyfkr@us.is.da.bomb.com
rcpt to: intended@recipient
data
Subject: hello from the spoof
Date: Thu, 26 May 2009 05:40:22 -0700
From: "other person" 
Return-Path: 
hello luser
.
from me
quit





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Last updated 2200   02/07/06