No bio yet...:::Top:::
When he's not at ACO, Mark enjoys playing WOW, listening to the music of Dr. Dre (pronounced dree), and reading the collected poems of Georgia O'Keeffe.
Jon Champion E-Mail
Some say Mr. Champion is human, … others do not. Some go
further and claim he was the lost biological experiment of the Xel-Naga.
(Still others look at him and realize that he must be the bizarre love
child of Drew Carey and Paula Jones.) Whatever the case may be,
somethings are known for sure: he is going to join the Air Force, and he
bleeds red. Mr. Champion is from the land south of Missouri. The land of
Arkansas. A place from which he spent the first 18 years of his natural
life trying to leave. Not believing that Missouri was far enough removed
from his origins, he now desires to leave once again, this time, desiring
to leave the planet. Should he succeed in his endeavor, he will be in
good company (he insists that Russians are cool once you get past the
accent and all those nuclear missiles). Otherwise, he will probably live
out the remainder of his life going from air base to air base, dragging
along his lady, and whatever children they may produce. (At this point
the idea that he would reproduce should cause dramatic physiological
effects. This is not his fault.)
Matt Chadbourne E-Mail
Matt Chadbourne hates writing about himself, which explains why it took
him just over three years to create a bio for the ACO webpage. Coming from
the jewel of the Ozarks known as Viburnum, Missouri, he led his high school
quizbowl team to a second-place state finish in 2004, his senior year. After
leaving Viburnum for UMR, he joined the quizbowl team there, where he was
elected to the position of president for 2006-2007 and re-elected for
2007-2008. When he is not immersing himself in quizbowl, he enjoys golf,
math, The Dukes of Hazzard (the TV show, not the crappy movie), and 80s rock.
Brandon Chapman E-Mail
The pre-eminent America's Cup fan from Bono, Arkansas, Mr. Chapman rose through the ranks of ACO leadership to serve as President/Chief Defenestrator for the 1999-2000 academic year. (Pundits remark that his campaign strategy rested largely on his threat to bring in the Boeing Joint Strike Fighter squadron if he was not selected; the actual vote totals show that, out of 7 votes cast, Brandon received 78,205 of them, or approximately 1,117,200.1% of all precincts.) Occasionally referred to (by himself) as either the Distinguished Gentleman from Arkansas or the Lord Privy Seal, he is not known for his scoring prowess, but for his encyclopedic knoweldge of Arkansas -- specifically cartography and obscure politicians, and his "where did he pull that from" game play. Having witnessed most historically significant events within the UMR-ACO, and due to his profound Southern drawl and strange witticisms, he has been called the "Forrest Gump of UMR College Bowl". Brandon's favorite author is John Grisham, not least because he once met the young Grisham in a parking lot at Wal-Mart.
He is currently working for Ford Motor Company and trying to figure how
to ingratiate himself to the people there who designed the hull for
America One. He is also co-songwriter and lead bongo player for Darling
Mookie, arguably the world's coolest sports cover band.
Zack “Super Freshman” Christensen E-Mail
Zack was born in the ever bustling metropolis that is Kansas City back
during the first Reagan administration. At the ripe old age of 2 Zack was
exiled to the Ozarks, that part of Missouri that pronounces the state with
an "uh" at the end, in a town conviently named Ozark. Aside from being
where Zach hails from, Ozark is also home to the second Lambert's and the
ever popular Springfield-Ozark Mountain Ducks minor league baseball team.
Zack proved his vast intelligence and problem solving skills at the age
of 3 when he started opening his own viatamin bottles. After spending 15
almost continuous years in Ozark, Zach decided it was time to change and
this volunteered to be a guinea pig for anew school in Northwest Missouri.
Upon arrival Zack discovered that it was, in fact, not a school for
gifted students but a disguised insane asylum. Alas poor Zack was trapped
for two years in the land of institutionally white walls, Tuesday trips to
Wal-Mart in the big white van, nights spent locked on his floor, and
required "study times." Upon escape from the asylum, Zack migrated to
Rolla of all places where he resides now in near solitude devising ways of
making his dream of the world's largest supercomputer, comprised entirely
of networked Commodore 64's a reality.
Matt "Boonville" Conway E-Mail
Matt Conway was born in a crossfire hurricane. Actually, he wasn't.
He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day when the New York
Times said God is dead and the war's begun. Actually, that's not true
either. He was born on February 13, 1984. But that doesn't really
matter. All that is important is his phenomenal quiz bowl ability, and
impressive ability to earn high school state championship medals. In
high school, Matt was able to earn one state medal per year for four
years in four different events, actively participating in three of them.
In 1998, he rode the coattails of the Boonville Pirate football team to
the TWA dome, earning a first place medal in football after upsetting
California 33-22. His sophmore year, he was able to win a state Academic
Bowl championship, defeating a certain now teammate who
will remain nameless. During his Junior year, he attended a state
NHS convention which happened after a quiz bowl tourney, which he won
with the help of team of ringers. The same team of ringers he was able
to bring to the VICA state tourney his senior year, humiliating Cass A in
the finals. Interestingly enough, after these four state victories and
two national tourneys in Disney World, Matt's teammates still refuse to
call him by his given name. In high school, he was respectfully hailed
as TheCon, and once arriving at Rolla, his temamates, unable to remember
both a name and a home town, simplified the situation by referring to him
as Boonville. This long and somewhat dull stroy is Matt Conway's life at
this point; but don't hate him for it, it's not his fault. After all,
the only thing he gained from high school academic bowl is an unnatural
hatred for Kenny Rogers.
Spawned in the land of rednecks that is Mississippi by and Air Force
fighter pilot and an ex-Army brat, Ryan Davidson was subjected to the
travesties of a military childhood, moving 15 times by age 18 and
attending 12 schools for 12 grades. Luckily enough, though, he ended up
in the Texas Academy of Math and Science, where he spent 2 blissful years
with 400 other geeks and nerds, courtesy of the taxpayers of Texas. Upon his
graduation, Ryan elected to attend UMR to study geology, a decision that
he still does not know the rationale behind to this day. After he
obtains his B.S., he plans on moving on to see the rest of the world, get his
Ph.D., and spend his life studying volcanoes. At the Washington
University Gateway Invitational X, for reasons unknown, Ryan recieved the
nickname “Buzzerd,” despite having never vultured a single
question. Despite this unfairness, Ryan sallies forth agains the
overwhelming legions of his enemies...
Jim Driscoll E-Mail
Jim Driscoll. Hmm, now there's a mixed basket. Most people who know him get along with him to some extent. Girls, unfortunately, unromantically; and guys, THANK GOD, unromantically. This is why Jim is "The Cheese." It's taken from The Farmer in the Dell where at the end the mouse takes the cheese, but "the Cheese stands alone." The perpetual singleness of our subject has warrented him that affectionate label.
Jim is currently a junior in the freshman engineering program, planning to be a double major in civil engineering and aerospace engineering. Personal fitness takes up quite a bit of time, as does theatre and dance. Plans for that combination include joining the NASA astronaut team **cough,aero,couch** as a mission specialist for a colony mission **cough,civil,cough** and translating drama to extraterrestials through dance interpretation. Plan B is to create a "flying bridge" to save MoDOT a lot of money through the use of a combination bridge. Two abutment and bent sets, one bridge deck that goes between the two on demand. The idea is still in the first phase of design.
One last note,
don't bring up Canada in a conversation with him...
Brenda Driver E-Mail
Known as "Steve" for reasons that no one now remembers, Brenda is the
youngest, tallest, and only woman crazy enough to be in this organization.
She was born on November 17, 1982 in Washington, D.C. A military brat,
she moved to Richland, MO in 1995. She lives on a small dairy goat farm,
and after trying to escape the clutches of her high school for four years,
she goes back to visit nearly every Friday. She plans to work for NASA
someday and be the first person on Mars. She spends her spare time
reading, drawing, and plotting to take over the world, beginning in
Bangladesh, among other odd hobbies. She is also irresistably drawn to
anything Harry Potter, proving that she really does have the maturity of a
eleven year old. Her evil plot to take over the world is off to a roaring
start, as she has assumed the title of Dame Privy Seal of the ACO. She is
now engaged to fellow UMR ACOer Matt Griffith.
Jeremy Gorelick E-mail
Jeremy Gorelick is a stupid freshman… at least, he used to be,
but the name has stuck. He is gifted with a good computer and the
ability to not attend ACO meetings anymore. While not studying nuclear
engineering and skipping out on ACO meetings, he enjoys playing computer
games on his fast-as-hell computer, listening to his favorite band
Captain Tractor, The Simpsons, grinning mischeviously, and playing the
Vial or Vile or something, I'm not sure how you spell it.
Matt Griffith E-Mail
Matt was born August 1, 1980 in Clinton, MO. He grew up on a small
farm and spent many happy hours dealing with his family's good-natured
livestock and state of the art line of 1950's John Deere Tractors. Matt
graduated in 1999 with one of the biggest classes Ballard high school had
seen in years, twelve. Despite his profound athletic skills in high
school (Career stats of 1.8 points per game in basketball and a batting
average .029 in three high school baseball seasons), Matt has turned all
his attention to college bowl at the collegiate level. Matt enjoys
procrastinating, finding ways to leave Rolla on the weekends, spending
time with his fiance and fellow ACO member Brenda Driver, and Redneck
sports. Matt is also the former President/Chief Defenestrator of the
ACO, and current holder of the distinguished title Gentleman Usher of the
David Harris E-mail
David Harris hails from the Kansas City area (I think) and is majoring
in Aerospace Engineering. He comes from a long line of Super Smash
Brothers champions and, in order to hold himself up to the standards set
forth by his forefathers, he indulges in many hours of Super Smash
Brothers and Super Smash Brothers Melee each week; so many, in fact, that
he often forgets ACO meetings and has, more than once, been punished for
playing Smash Brothers straight through one of his AFROTC obligations.
When not playing Super Smash Brothers games, he enjoys Metal Gear Solid
games, StarCraft, reading about Super Smash Brothers games, writing about
Super Smash Brothers, AFROTC, answering lots of questions about aircraft
at Quiz Bowl, grinding Super Smash Brothers cartridges into fine powders
and snorting them, Wendy's and McDonald's. And that's all I have to say
Ramin Herati E-mail
Ramin Sedaghat Herati hails from the far-off city of Springfield,
Missouri and holds the honor of being the ACO's first-ever contender of
Iranian heritage. He is a lazy bastard; too lazy, in fact, to write a
biography of his own, so it is instead being written by [former] webmaster
Chip Kastner (hey, that sorta rhymes.) When Ramin isn't busy skipping
out on quiz bowl practices due to his involvement with orchestra, he
enjoys Aikido, computers, long walks on the beach, a good smoke, ramen
noodles, hitchhiking in East St. Louis, monster truck driving, hamburgers,
the cello, referring to himself as a "cello whore," referring to himself
as "the best cello player UMR has to offer," referring to himself as a
"musician for hire," StarCraft, half-assed attempts at making StarCraft
servers, the company of his roommate, the Farsi language, Creed, and a
myraid of other activities. Despite his great interest in computers, he
is studying one of those stupid Chemistry-related majors and wants to be a
doctor or something crazy like that.
John was born in Missouri, and as thus, is extremely stubborn and quick
witted (as are most Missourians). John has a small altar to Rage Against
the Machine and the rebel Che Guevara in his room. Among other things, he
likes to run (when he can make himself), play guitar, and write when the
mood strikes him. He is currently attending UMR to attain a degree in
Chemistry. (Yes, you are supposed to be scared).
Currently a senior in Computer Engineering from Kansas City and a
graduate of Liberty High School, Jeffrey
is used to be one of those few crazy
people who thinks Macs are 1000 times better than any other kind of
computer (fortunately, he has recently realized how evil Apple is and has subsequently switched to Ubuntu, though he still favors OS X over Windows). Unhealthily obsessed with quiz bowl, he has spent the past
six years doing nothing but writing overly complex quiz bowl-related
computer programs, questions, and now over 2500 posts to the Missouri Academic
Competition Message Board, although he absolutely despises writing
in general. The presence of his roommates' several video game consoles
(in addition to his ancient NES and SNES) has been one of the few
successful ways he has been pried from the world of quiz bowl.
Unfortunately, he is the younger brother of the notorious Kyle Hill, who graduated from Truman State University in the Spring of 2007 with a not-so-lucrative liberal arts degree.
Jeffrey is notorious for constantly losing The Game while at ACO. Team president Matt Chadbourne has repeatedly insisted he will stop coming to ACO because of this but has yet to follow through on this statement.
There are only two constants in the universe: existence and my flannel. --Lord Neon
Chip Kastner E-Mail
Charles M. Kastner was born in St. Louis on July 21, 1981 and lived
there his entire life until coming to Rolla in 1999. He played for his
high school Scholar Bowl team at a Catholic high school known as
Chaminade, where he was regularly outsmarted by people several years
younger than him. His trend of being a sub-par contender followed him to
UMR, where he was convinced (under the threat of bodily injury) to join
the ACO by floormate Matt Griffith. His very limited areas of Quiz Bowl
expertise include the novels "Dune" by Frank Herbert and "Candide" by
Voltaire, along with hard rock music. When not studying to be a computer
engineer, Chip enjoys writing, whether it takes the form of Quiz Bowl
questions, Missouri Miner articles, or [formerly writting] HTML for this
webpage. He also enjoys wallowing in his dorm room, participating in
anti-social activities such as wasting time on his computer, staring at
his fish, or playing his guitar (while providing the ruse that he is a
hard-working, non-procrastinating young man). At his first college-level
ACO tournament, he gained the nickname "The Navigator" due in part to his
horrid driving and in part to a map he obtained from the Internet that led
the entire team to Lincoln, Illinois instead of Champaign-Urbana.
James was born in the wonderful state of Missouri on February 4, 1977. His great grandfather knew that he was born (and also that he was a boy) because he saw a blue cloud at the end of his hospital bed (no one believed the story until his roommate in the hospital wrote it down and gave it to James' great grandmother). His life, from then on, was filled with many weird occurrances.
James started school at age four in a tiny school in Minot, North Dakota. The school was just across the field in his backyard, so, everyday, he walked to school (this was in the Fall when the mornings can be -20 degrees). Halfway through kindergarten, James moved to Mountain View, Missouri.
School life was boring. James excelled in all of his work, which did not go well with making friends. He was picked on a lot because of his grades. At this point, we should mention James' temper. He has a temper that makes him very violent (for reference see The Incredible Hulk television series). James did not like to be teased, so he would get into fights a lot and also get his butt kicked a lot. Getting into fights did not go well with impressing school officials. It was not until eighth grade that James calmed down and tamed the beast within.
In junior high and high school, James turned his talents to better things: studies, girls, pranks, girls, and girls. He was quite the Don Juan in school. Though he has not wooed 1400 women, he has had his share of affairs. But we won't go into them.
James graduated high school in the top 5% of his class and an ACT score of 27 (not a good test taker). He was awarded many honors (all that his school offered), then came to UMR in hopes of finally finding something that he could do the rest of his life. James picked Geology, but he is still not sure that that was the best decision. James is a part of College Bowl, an illustrious group of adventurers who have become a second family ("I love you, man!") to him.
We hope that we haven't offended anybody with this little bit of THE
HISTORY OF JAMES. If we have... WHO CARES? JAMES DOESN'T! And he bills
himself as "James Kinkead, Secret Agent, Psychic (265-7418 $.95 per
minute), and Geologist Extraordinaire."
Ben Lea E-Mail
Ben Lea, a reference librarian at UMR, was the unworthy successor to
Dr. Morgan as faculty advisor to the ACO. Ben played some version of this
silly game in a distant and foggy land known as North Carolina State
University; while there he held a buzzer while his teammates won the 1988
CBI National Championships. Ben FINALLY retired from tournament play
after TRASHionals 2001 (his team lost in the finals, thereby failing to
win the ECW World Heavyweight Championship belt which was given as a
trophy to the winning team), ending a playing career that started with a
7th grade exhibition in 1980 (well before nearly everyone else in this
game was born). Ben enjoys reading (there's a shock) -- notably Gabriel
Garcia Marquez (Colombia's finest magic realist journalist) and Kinky
Friedman (America's foremost Jewish country western singer/mystery
novelist). He is co-songwriter/lead vocalist for Darling Mookie, arguably
the world's coolest sports cover band.
Jonathan Mark Livengood, known by many as "JLive" and second Gentleman
Usher of the Black Rod, was born on December 29, 1979 and has been alive
ever since. Having made absolutely no impact on the world at large, his
biography is relatively short; however, he does not mind, being ignorant
of public affairs.
No bio yet. No longer on injured reserve!!!:::Top:::
BJ Marshall E-Mail
B.J. was the fourth Chief Defenstrator of the ACO and served in that capacity for three semesters. During that time the ACO went from pretty bad to marginal, setting up the current competitive juggernaut. The competitve highlight of his career was the infamous “Brinker Affair” (don't ask, you really don't want to know, and it involves vomit). He is most proud, however, of the administrative changes that took place during his tenure, particularly the changing of the group's name from the Academic Competition Organization to the Academic Competition OrganIzation. In the immortal words of someone, “That was a great day for our organIzation.” B.J. is the only ACO member known to have legally operated a nuclear reactor at any time while connected with the OrganIzation. He is also the first ACO Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod, a title later carried with due pride and reverence by Matt Griffith.
Mr. Marshall recently completed a 20 month sentence at the University
of Tennessee-Knoxville, and was released with an MS. He currently gets
paid lots of money by a facility which shall remain nameless to chase
neutrons around. (He gets paid that much because he has to be VERY fast
to follow those damned neutrons.)
Dr. Ilene Morgan
Dr. Ilene Morgan, an assistant professor of mathematics at UMR, is the beloved founding faculty advisor and coach of UMR's Academic Competition Organization. She discovered academic buzzer competition during her last year of graduate school at Penn State (1993-94). During that year, she competed in CBI Regionals for Region IV, as well as in invitationals at Williams, University of Pennsylvania, and Swarthmore. Her favorite question categories are classical music, spelling, mathematics, chemistry (the Periodic Table in particular), and anything about the 1970's. When she isn't planning lessons, grading papers, doing research, or working with the ACO, Dr. Morgan enjoys (in no particular order) playing the flute and reading science fiction.
Dr. Morgan returned to ACO in 2007.
Nathan Mundis E-Mail
Nathan Mundis was born on a cold November day, the sixth to be exact,
in the one thousand nine hundred eighty-first year of our Lord in the
pre-eminent Tulsa, Oklahoma. Nathan was a bright boy, becoming
potty-trained when he first walked. He quickly rose through the ranks of
grade school, leaving the fifth grade as the Masonic Lodge's "Student of
Tomorrow". In Middle School, Nathan had problems fitting in and making
friends, as do most Nerds, and eventually gave up trying, allowing those
who desired to be his friends to come to him. In eighth grade, Nathan
decided to join the academic team, seeing his chance to conquer the world.
On the squad, Nathan quickly advanced to a position of co-captain,
bringing his high school Varsity team to the state finals, finishing
second. In college, Nathan once again joined the academic team, fooling
everyone into electing him Chief Defenestrator after his first year of
play. Having conquered the UMR ACO, and with the power of defenestration
at his beck and call, surely the rest of the world will soon follow.
Paul Nelson E-Mail
Paul E. Nelson, Jr. was born in St. Louis on March 18, 1980 and moved at a young age to the small town of Cuba, Missouri, near Rolla. He grew up there, hence his nickname, "El Cubano." While attending Cuba High School, he played on their quiz bowl team, winning four consecutive state championships and scaring the hell out of everyone. He is a history major, making him the first and only liberal arts major in the ACO. His specialties are history, geography, and pop culture before 1975. When not answering College Bowl questions, running tournaments, or studying history, he listens to classic country music, watches NASCAR on TV, votes for Democrats, and plays SimCity. He hopes to become famous somehow, so famous, in fact, that his birthday will become a federal holiday.
Editor's note -- Great moments in Cuban history that took
place on March 18:
The ACO's Oklahoma native, he thinks I-44 goes through Norman, OK, D.D.E. appears on the dime, and that "any idiot knows the capital of Honduras is Honduras City".:::Top:::
Editor's note: Having given up on getting Partho to write an autobiography, we've hired Stephen Ambrose to write one for him.
Born in 1732, first president of the United States, was born in Westmoreland County, Va., on the estate of his father lying between Bridges Creek and Popes Creek and later known as "Wakefield". The eldest son of Augustine Washington and his second wife, Mary Ball (1708-89), of "Epping Forest," Va., he was descended from Lawrence of Sulgrave, Northampton, England, who was of the fourth generation from John of Whitfield…
Editor's note: Having found some irregularities in Ambrose's current scholarship, he has been sacked.
Partho currently works for some shady outfit in a highly secret,
undisclosed location. He'd be shot with extreme prejudice if we revealed
the site here. He fills his spare time as bassist/co-songwriter for
Darling Mookie, arguably the world's coolest sports cover band.
Scott "Squeeky" Pope
Name: Scott Pope
Activities: ACO Webmaster, Mathematics Association of America, EXCEL Facilitator.
The 7'2½" forward for the starting UMR team, Mark Rooney is the founder and Chief Defenestrator of the UMR College Bowl Team. He has appeared on Jeopardy! in the College Championship, and was ranked at the extremely high level of 15th among all 15 of the Jeopardy! contestants. Retiring after merely the Quarterfinals, Mark moved on to College Bowl.
Mark enjoys cooking Italian, firing live bass from a butane cannon, movies with senseless violence, fractals, McDonald's Playlands, Salsa bombing, and generally any and all projectiles filled with goo. Major influences include Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Mother Theresa, and Shoney's Big Boy.
Mark is an expert at Tori Amos, literature, semantics, licence plates,
the arts (besides licence plates), Chemistry, Astronomy, Star Wars,
Ireland, and any other geography that matters. Mark is majoring in
Chemical Engineering with a minor in Computer Science, and plans to
graduate on a Saturday.
No bio yet...:::Top:::
Chris “Racer” Schwartze
Name: Jason Shoemaker
Title: Vice-President Academic Competiton Organization
Major: Ceramic Engineering/ Electroceramics (toilets on the side)
Hometown: Another boring town like Rolla called Liberty just outside K.C.
Roommate: James Hyink (AKA Lord Neon, Flanel Man, Chickenmiester, The Keeper of the Cheese, Fungal Freemason, and Neon Jim)
Other: Currently plays soccer and volleyball for UMR intramurals. Enjoys Jello wrestling for money, Melrose Place for laughs, lauching various fruits and vegetables from a WD40 propelled cannon, graciously extending thanks to oncoming traffic by lofting packets of various fluids, including salsa or mayonaisse, at an excess of 110 mph at their windshield. Also, listens to much classical music. Favorites are Dvorak, Bach, Vivaldi, Greig, Puccini, and Beethoven. Also enjoys Yanni and Ray Lynch. Only person still living who owns all four Ray Lynch CD's. Sole member and former of SHAFTA. Used to be a long distance runner but retired due to excrutuating pain in hip. Began serious academic competition junior year in high school. Made the showdown at state finals on one occasion. Due to temporary insanity, will throw cheese at people or visit them in a towel. Survived his car breaking down in East St. Louis after dark. Enjoys computers. Owns a Compaq with the slowest BIOS in the known universe. Enjoys watching the stars, sitting in the rain, and wondering why so many good things and so many bad things can happen all at once to one person.
Quote: "What makes life intersting yet difficult, is that truth is obscured by fact."
William “Bill” Stallard was born on July 31, 1983 in
Southern California, San Diego to be exact. After traveling the world with
his family (his dad was in the Navy) they settled in Gower, MO (between
St. Joe and KC). As a freshman in high school Bill joined the East
Buchanan academic team with fellow UMR ACO person Seth Stanley, thus
beginning his career. When Bill is not sleeping or studying, he like to
watch sports, play video games, having his heart broken by his
ex-girlfriend Brenna Silvey who goes to Truman, and listen to the Jungle
hosted by Jim Rome. Bill was elected Chief Defenestrator for 2002/2003
being the third straight sophomore elected to the position. He was
re-elected for a second term breaking the string of sophomores elected to
the postition. Bill was re-re-elected to a third term. He also learned he
is going to be a Dad on Feb. 12th. The lucky Mom hails from WV and
hopefully lydia will be moving to Rolla in Dec. in which she will then
became the second women active in the ACO.
Seth Stanley E-Mail
Born March 17th 1983(think Rolla with the St. Pats. stuff was a
good choice?)Not much is known about Seth from the early years(except he
hailed from Illinois; enough said), except he moved to
Gower,MO in 5th grade. In High school he joined the East Buchanan Academic
team with fellow ACOer Bill Stallard. Seth became captain(earning the
nickname Cap, Bill was orignal with that one) his junior year
and quickly got on the nervous of every high school they played for
challenging at least once a match(ask Bryce). Then Seth came to Rolla with
Bill(damn that Bill always following him.), to study the ways of
electrical engineering only because UMR does not have a grocery bagger
engineering degree. In his spare time, Seth likes to
play basketball, Nintendo Gamecube, and find reasons to stay in Rolla.
Garrett Struckhoff E-Mail
Garrett Struckhoff was born. It was a dark and stormy July night, with
the smell of placenta and blood permeating the room. Since that day, he
has been getting older. Scholastically he has had ups and downs, from a
straight F report card in 6th grade to graduating from high school number
8 out of 220, and with a ACT of 32. Since coming to Rolla he has made
straight A's. Garrett's goals in life include: dicovering the cure for
stupidity (I think it involves a hammer), graduating Summa Cum Laude,
sleeping with attractive women and becoming famous so people stop calling
Max Tohline E-mail
Jayson Vucovich E-mail
Jayson Petar Vucovich hails from a long line of people with
abnormally-spelled names. He joined the ACO in the 2001-2002 year and had
the audacity to challenge my spot as public relations officer (aka
webmaster.) Fool! I must admit, however, that he is probably a
better page designer than me... as seen by his webpage. Unless, of
course, he uses wussy stuff like DreamWeaver. Ha! I am dedicated
to all things old school, and I make this webpage in pico, a horribly
crappy Unix text editor. Mwahaha. Mwahaha. Anyway, as for Jayson, he
enjoys tropical fish, Windows XP, and... well, to be honest, that's all I
know. He's a computer engineer (good man) and came to UMR during the
2000-2001 year. That's all I can think of. Perhaps seeing this horribly
crappy biography will force him to write one of his own.
Bryce Wagner III E-Mail
Bryce began his academic bowl career by losing to fellow ACO members
Seth Stanley and Bill Stallard.
An arguement ensues while Bryce and Bill fight over the diction of this
sentence. Then to follow up his career he was put in a district with
Perennial powerhouse Savannah, finishing high score his senior year.
Born is Kansas City August 25, 1986, he moved to BFE in 5th grade aka
Lathrop. He is one of the two great ACO members to come from
Northwestern Missoui, the other being Seth Stanley. He is a
geology/geophysics major and plans to find a large deposit of oil and
off the dividends. That sums it up.
This was written at Truman after many attempts to get Bryce to write his own.
A chemical engineer employed by Quaker Oats R&D in Barrington, IL,
Jeremy White is the self-proclaimed president of the UMR ACO Alumni
Association. Jeremy was a member of the ACO during the 95-96 and 96-97
seasons who provided legendary team captain and ACO founder Mark Rooney
with some toss-up support and a capable comedic straight man to help
facilitate jokes about live bass and goat accidents. Jeremy was a
two-time CBI Region 11 All-Star, the 28th leading scorer at the 64-team
inaugural NAQT nationals and was the leading scorer at UMR's two
intercollegiate tournament wins during his career. Before becoming an
officer, Jeremy spearheaded several ACO intiatives including UMR Dorm Bowl
and publicizing the ACO in the Miner newspaper. Jeremy then became Vice
President and eventually Chief Defenestrator and was a horrific failure in
both posts, but still did not hesitate to pad his resume with the two
titles. When Jeremy is not attempting to optimize the packaging systems
of Gatorade or other tasty Quaker Oats products that are available at your
local grocery store and other fine retail outlets, Jeremy enjoys
embarassing himself by playing in open quiz bowl tournaments, torturing
others with his flailing attempts to learn to play acoustic guitar,
reading history, watching good movies, lampooning bad movies, yelling
"Squirrel!" at inopportune moments, serving on the sound crew for his
local church congregation, writing top ten lists, and serving as lead
guitarist/co-songwriter for Darling Mookie, arguably the world's coolest
sports cover band.
Eric Yount lived the first part of his life in a small town in the middle of nowhere that no one has ever heard of. After that, he moved to a humble abode in the middle of St. Louis county.
A devout follower of Jah'rs uv Klaa (Jars of Clay), Eric has devoted his life to the tenet that "People are inherently stupid, and to overcome this you must accept certain things:
- The art of flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
- Rolla has negative air pressure -- it sucks.
- Pinky and the Brain are the funniest thing since Spam. Narf! Zort!
- Monty Python was the ultimate comedy troupe.
- The stupidest, most obvious pun will get the most laughs.
- and, of course, Mark Rooney is not God."
In addition to being legally blind and clinically insane, Eric is
involved in Sigma Tau Gamma fraternity (steward/scapegoat), Kappa Mu
Epsilon math honors society (vice-president/pledge trainer), Wesley house
and Wesley singers (major distraction/comedy genius), and Alpha Phi Omega
service fraternity (just a meaningless peon). And so, in the immortal
words of Yossarian, a quote that sums up the entity we call Eric (or Lazy
Crazy Smurf to his close personal enemies), “I'm going to live
forever or die trying.”