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When there was no earth,
when there was nothing but endless water,
a gander flew, a gander whiter than milk,
a gander whiter than summer milk
flew by a gander darker than winter,
darker than cold.
Then there was no earth, no sun;
then there was no day, no moon;
then there were no stars, no Milky Way.
Then there was water, only water,
and above the water, two ganders flying--
God Kara-han flying,
Er-kishi flying, [1]
flying in the peace of unspoken love,
flying in the joy of endless being.
Then God Kara-han felt a cloud,
a knot of wind, a fist of water,
a cloud that formed in Er-kishi s heart
as Er-kishi flew just below him.
Feeling the cloud, God Kara-han wondered:
"Was loneliness better than dark Er-kishi?"
And Er-kishi bent his darkness
down to the water, seeming to drown,
and God Kara-han was sad;
but Er-kishi spun up at the surface,
his speed foaming the water,
whirling it up,
splashing the water on God Kara-han.
Er-kishi was proud of his dive and splash:
"Hey, God, now you see that I am strong;
without your leave, I chose to dive;
I dove and wet your feathers";
and Er-kishi thought, in his clouded heart:
"More will I do.
Instead of diving,
I will rise,
rise above the white gander."
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But as Er-kishi thought to soar, [2]
God took his flight from his wings
and he plummeted down
with deadly Time trapped in his feathers.
Plummeting down, Er-kishi cried out
"My God!"
but water wrapped his tongue
and smothered his cry.
"My God, I did not know your strength;
Give me release
and I will give you praise."
God Kara-han spoke:
"Come out, then: Rise!
With soaking wings, Er-kishi rose
but could not fly,
could not rise from the water s grasp:
"Create me a place, O God!
Let me stand. The water is fearful;
its darkness will suck me down.
Create a place, just enough to stand.
I am afraid."
God said: "Let there be a strong rock."
His words searched the deeps
and searching found Ak-ana s ear,
found Ak-ana who created a rock
and sent it up for Er-kishi's place.
Er-kishi sat in the tent of silence
that was the world--
there was only water and only God--
being neither, Er-kishi feared,
feared that God s forgetful wing
would brush him off this tiny place,
brush him into the fearful deeps.
Er-kishi thought the rock should stretch,
should stretch and cover the endless water
and hide the water's terrible mouth.
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At that instant, God Kara-han [2]
commanded Er-kishi to dive,
dive to the depths and bring up earth,
bring up a handful of dirt.
Er-kishi dove, dove in fear.
Where he dove he did not know;
where he dove had a light he did not know;
the light was the eyes of God Kara-han,
where he dove when he dove to the bottom,
was earth. He took a handful and rose.
"God, I did your command.
I beg you make this water above
Like the flatness below,
broad and wide, a place where I may live.
Now I am sure you are God,
now I know your godly strength."
God Kara-han commanded him:
"Throw the earth,
throw it on the water."
Er-kishi spilled his handful of earth,
spilled it on the water
where it spread to the end of sight
and even farther than sight it spread.
With shaking and clamor
eternity sucked the water down,
sucked it down to give earth room.
In spreading joy, Er-kishi said:
"God, my God,
surely you are God
surely you are the God I worship."
God said:
"If so, then dive, hey, Er-kishi,
dive again
and again bring up a handful of earth."
Er-kishi grew drunk
with new creation;
the cloud in his heart unfolded and fled
as he dove again to the God-bright bottom.
The water shook
with Er-kishi s joy,
with his drunken dive to the bottom.
The cloud knotted again,
made a dark fist in Er-kishi s heart:
"So if God,
if God cannot,
cannot get this earth,
if God must send me,
if his strength lacks,
my strength,
if my strength completes
the strength of God
then I am more than he,
then his godliness is less than mine."
Thinking these thoughts
Er-kishi filled his mouth with earth for himself
and took for God half of a half a handful.
Planning that God would create
half of a half a world
and he, Er-kishi, would create
a whole and secret world for himself.
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God Kara-han looked at the dust,
the grains of dust in Er-kishi s hand,
and said only: "Throw this too,"
and when Er-kishi threw it,
God Kara-han made it grow,
made it spread wider than water and Time.
At the beginning there was Eternity,
after Eternity, there was Time;
now, after Time, Earth grew,
spreading out to make a place.
God s earth spread endlessly,
Er-kishi found no place to spit his earth,
no place beyond God and God s place,
God's water and Time.
Er-kishi's desire hardened to stone;
as it hardened, God spoke:
"Spit.
Spit and be saved, you who are evil.
Had I not listened
to Ak-ana's sigh,
Create!
you would not be,
nor your anger,
nor your lust
to be my equal.
Since I made,
I will save you.
Spit!"
Er-Kishi spit on God's flat, free earth;
the spit made hills,
hills like stumps of yellowed teeth,
made bogs like pus,
made a valley nasty as death.
Er-kishi looked
at the rotten growth of his spit,
and God Kara-han said:
"Hey, Er-kishi, I made a place for you;
see what your pride has done,
the cloud that spits from your evil heart."
Er-kishi replied:
"I wanted to make my own world,
a world where I would be God,
a world to escape you,
where I could have all power
and you would borrow power from me."
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The water twisted, God was silent;
God was silent, the earth shook.
Er-kishi thought God was weak:
"I should be creator not you;
you should dive at my command."
When he spoke, the hills were shamed,
the hills and water and marshes turned
to God for protection:
"O God, keep us from Er-kishi, double and dark.
We are not his, he is not ours."
Their words scratched Er-kishi
with lonely shame,
shame and fear spiked his heart,
his breath, his sight.
He grew pale, he grew dark;
he grew dark, he grew pale;
quivering, he turned completely to fear.
"Why do you fear?"
God's words fell soft and white,
fell like feathers from his flight:
"You created because I allowed it;
you created evil
because you are evil."
Er-kishi s feathers ruffled and stiffened:
"You!
you made me,
made me what I am.
If I am evil,
you made me evil
when you could have made me good.
Answer,
answer godly,
God."
The dark cloud knotted in Er-kishi s heart
spoke these words.
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God said:
"We flew together,
but in your pride
you wanted to fly above,
and from this pride,
your pride
your evil came,
not from me.
Is that godly enough?"
After these words, all was silent,
all was silent beyond silence,
and God s voice passed through silence:
"Under earth is water;
under water is earth; under all, darkness;
Into this darkness
you shall go,
beyond earth, beyond water,
beyond light.
Go!"
In the silence after God's voice,
Er-kishi fell,
fell to darkness unseen and untouched,
fell where eye saw no eye,
where knee touched no knee.
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